Friday, March 27, 2009

What I Learned Last Night

- Todd White, CPA = $$ in the Bank

- It occurs to me that Kovy may not have read my letter. Watching angry Kovy in the time-out box was no fun...
- Angry Sean, however, was very entertaining.
- After a game, I find I can sing very much like that fellow from Kings of Leon.
- Marty Reasoner. Give the man anything he desires.
- I hate Ranger fans.
- Did we have the rookie officiating crew last night? Our no goal looked pretty good to me, and their no goal took way too long to disallow.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Gameday Rangers: An Open Letter to Ilya Kovalchuk

Dear Ilya,

Hey dude! Can't wait to see you guys tonight; I actually got really good tickets this time, instead of that icebox up in the 300s I usually sit in. Well, not that it would take much to get better tickets, someone's always giving away something some where....

But don't think about that.

Anyway, in case you weren't sure who you were playing tonight, it's the New York *expletive* Rangers. Yea, that team with the $20mil "top line" that's averaging 50 points each. Yea, I know, right? Total.... whatever that Russian word was. They're in and out of the playoffs depending on what time it is, and on whether or not King Henrik has had his Wheaties. I mean, c'mon.. they had to go and bring back Torts, for pete's sake...

But also on the FYI tip... I don't know if you noticed, but they got Sean back. Yeah, the America's Top Model reject from the playoffs. But hey, that whole "Avery Rule" thing was kinda amusing, just cause it's Marty, right?

No? Okay, moving on.

My point here is this:

See, that's the Angry Kovy. You know where angry Kovy sits? In the time out box. Yes. Shame. You know who we want to see more of? Good-Lord-Where'd-That-Come-From Kovy:

And that's the thing, that Kovy there is... no offense here... a teensy bit more productive than angry Kovy. But, hey, in the moment, I like Angry Kovy just as much as I like Boults and Thor, and even Oyster-man lately. But just cause it feels good, well, that doesn't quite make it right. Y'know, Ryan Kennedy over at the Hockey News actually had some pretty good advice. He wrote that after you & that caveman Ian White mixed it up a little. But if Crosby can get away with throwing an occasional trantrum like the straight-laced 9th grade honor student who just can't take the pressure (or the bullying) anymore, why can't you?

But I digress. Before you let Mr. Avery get under your skin again, may I make a sugestion? Here's what he looks like to you:

Yea, it'd be real is to give in to the Dark Side and wipe that smirk off his face. But two things: 1) that'd probably get you at least 2 minutes of shame, and 2) ewwwww, you don't know where that face has been. But here's what Seany-boy looks like to the rest of us:

Yup. A great big tool. This joker is a headset mic away from being a Backstreet Boy. And just cause I'm in a little 'shoppin kinda mood:

Srsly, this guy is more worried about matching belts & shoes that anything else. So when you see this:

Just think:

Ooo ooo ooo.... and then.... and then.... and then you could check him real hard into the boards, and say something like "Blue shirts are so last year" in that bad motha Russian accent and skate away and score, like, a bazillion hat tricks. That would be SO awesome.

Anyway, do good tonight, congrats on the new baby, and anytime you need to hug it out, I'm here.

Your friend,
Aaron @ Blueland Outsider

Other business:

- Pens fans, someone please explain to me what use Matt Cooke is to your team. Other than, you know, hitting people really hard in slightly dirty ways. Cause he can't hit the broad side of a barn.

(Any mentions of Patrik Stefan will be ignored. We have Don Waddell. You have Ray Shero. We get, like, 10,000 mulligans when it come to draft choices.)

- As if this post didn't have enough pictures. Here's a warning to all the refs out there:

Get that whistle ready. He'll say things, & you'll cry.

Buncha pansies.
Go Thrashers.
Rangers suck.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? Thrashers Lose.

Okay, someone needs to set up a big circle of Dmen and goalies. Have 'em all do trust falls until they get weepy & huggy. Make some popcorn and some kind of chocolate something, spread pillows out on the floor, and they can play Mystery Date in their PJs until they're BFFs. Someone needs to do something, because all that teammateness I yakked on and on about yesterday went straight down the crapper that is the Bell Centre.

Kari, Kari Kari. If it takes him this long to shake the bad game against Detroit, he's not ready. Metro's goal should not have happened. Not at all, not ever. Five goals on 14 shots? Yes, lets toss that first Tanguay goal, that kinda wasn't his fault. Four goals on 13 shots doesn't sound much better.


For a much better, much more statistically comprehensive rant, see the lovely Laura and her post. I'm just much too emotional....

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I Been Thinking...And It Hurts

You can thank the good Mr. Timmy F over at Thrashing About for this next batch of lukewarm drivel. He did this great post about one-goal games the Thrashers have been involved in this year. He's got a chart. I can't even begin to fathom how one goes about making a chart, so I'm going to look at his data and add to it.

Me, thinking about making a chart.

I can tell you the exact date that I knew this season was a wash. October 25, 2008. The Thrashers were playing the Bruins at Boston Garden (TD Bankwhaaa? Never heard of it.). I was spackling the big chunk o wall I had just replaced in my music room (leaky roof, shoddy patch job, more leaky, more patchy, a little head-bashing & finally got it right). I had the Kamalian on my nifty Grundig crank radio (Srsly, get one. It could Save. Your. Life. Or you could just play with the crank-thing until you get tired of it; and, look! Fashion colors!). Covered in spackle dust, I listened as our Thrashers blew 2 leads, and frittered away 12:38 of the third period without even being able to mutser a tying goal to claim a pity point. The B's still hadn't figured out what kind of powerhouse team they could become, and we hadn't yet seen the depth to which we could fall. The sky was the limit. Until that horn sounded, and we left Boston with no points. Then, The Decline of Thrasher Civilization.

Yup. That just happened.

They skated to a 19-31-5 record until the West Coast swing that netted them an improbable (at the time) 3-2-1 record, and some serious confidence. What happened? Well, on 1/16/09, Jason Williams was traded to Columbus. I'm not saying that Williams was a bad person, never met him, have no clue what he's like. But let's play What If. What if I really like a certain kind of music. Like country, maybe - just picking a random genre out of thin air. What if, in the locker room before a game, somebody (who I otherwise would have no issue with) decides to play some crap like "Russian Privjet" - again, out of thin air. That doesn't put me in the calm zen-like state needed for me to be able to bang some bodies into the boards. Thusly, my play may, just may, be affected. And then, what if I'm hearing he's griping about his lack of power play time? Once more, out of thin air....
The record after the Williams trade? 6-7-0. With 4 of those losses being by 1 goal margins. Then Matthieu Schnieder went to Montreal. 3-2-1. Then Havelid to Jersey. Christensen to Anaheim. 7-3-0. You will not find a bigger Havelid or Schnieder fan than me: both seasoned vets, both assets to their new teams. But I noticed that they may not have been as keyed into the system as some of the other players, whatever "system" we were running at the time. Three players traded, and the record improves. I want to reiterate - these are probably solid, upstanding human beings. But at the same time, they're all human beings. They all affect the ebb & flow of a dressing room.

Look at Kovy. His stats soared after being given the 'C' (as chronicled on this very blog). A conicidence? Well, let throw this theory out at you: Kovy comes in this year, expecting to be named captain, and rightfuly so; I thought it was a foregone conclusion. But here comes HC Johnny A. He's just been named HC, as a matter of fact. He's bad, he's nationwide. He's gotta see how this team works. He's thinking, "Let's hold on just a second on the whole 'C' thing... let's see who steps up." Hence, four 'A's & no 'C'. If I'm Kovy, I might be thinking, "Whoa, new HC is not a Kovy fan." Maybe not in those words, and maybe not conciously at all, but I start to grip my stick a little tighter, second-guess myself before I shoot, etc & etc.

I don't know if luck is the right word. Maybe chemistry might be a better term. But yes, Timmy F, I do believe in this hockey team.

Now, back to the rehashed crap I usually pass along.

*sigh* Okay.... Seems that.... Scott Hartnell may be... *swallows bile* an alright dude. Fartsmell. That'll get you to click the link.

Kevin Allen details the wealth of talent available in this years' draft. What he doesn't tell you is how easy it would be to completely derail their careers due to improper development.

Habs tonight.

Go Thrashers.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Miscellany & Post 100!

Abel to Yzerman gives us the skinny on negotiations between Hossa & the Wings (if that doesn't sound like a mid-80's pop/rock group, I don't know what does). He's got a couple of quotes.
“To be able to stay as a Red Wing, I am prepared to take less money, but a fair deal, so both sides are happy. That’s what I’m looking for. I know if I go somewhere else, I could have more, but I’m willing to take less to stay here. Hopefully things work out.”

“I could be somewhere else, you know, but I came here because I like everything and I want to be a part of it,” Hossa said. “And that’s why I want to still be a Red Wing and stay here.”

Translation: "I really like it here, and would be happy to stay, as long as you pay me what I think I'm worth." Quotes could be out of context, etc, but I think in a little over 3 months we will be saying to Ken Holland

Worst. Shop. Ever.

Scott Cullen @ TSN ranks the top 100 rookies in the league. Who's the only 18 year old on the list? I'm looking at you, Big Zach!

Some joke from Toronto takes Chipper Jones to task, and calls Atlanta "just about the worst major city in America, where no one lives downtown except the homeless". I'd be offended, but the guy writes for a Toronto paper. Who's ever gonna hear about it?

Big up to the Lovely Ladies of Puckhuffers for mentioning the Outsider. It really is an honor to be endorsed by another blog, espcially when you spend a good portion of your time trying to find ways to 'shop the face of their teams' captain onto barnyard animals & small children (note to self...). An even bigger honor? We got mention right after Brooks Orpik. Here at the outsider, there's nothing we love more than some free candy.

Best. Shop. Ever.

Mike Knobler has some statistical hope for us pollyanna-isn't-it-a-glorious-sunshiny-day hopeful types. I'd be completely thrilled if we ruined Montreal's centennial "OMGZ look at us, w'ere teh awsum!" season. What's the French word for "fail"? And hey, a 9 game win streak isn't so hard. Is it?

This is post 100. Didn't think I'd make it his far. Being as it's a Thrasher blog, I give you Jean-Claude Van Damme. Dancing.